Gray. Gloom. Bitter poison flowing through my veins. Anger. Pain. With each beat of my heart the cloud surrounding my senses grows darker and gains hunger for capture. Surrounded by positivity, prayers, and encouragement, I am alone. I’m on the island with others, I see them, I feel for them, but only feel myself. Frustrated. Numb. I open my mouth and nothing comes out. Where’s the words? Who will listen? Discouragement. Disappointment. I yearn for change. I close my eyes and hope. I fold my arms and pray. Why is this happening? Fear. Guilt. What do they think of me? They don’t understand. I need time. Selfish. Helpless. Let me look at you in the eyes. Tell me you are there and you’re ok. Show me a sign this is working. Hollow. Hurt. Nothing happens. More of the same continues. Strength transforms into mush. It trickles down my legs and out through my toes. My stomach turns sick. Sunshine. Warmth. Peace restored.
Let’s go at it again.
Written by: Shawn